Most Insulting Commercials Ever - Free Credit Report Commercials

If you haven't been living under a rock lately (as long as you have a tV) you have been subjected to the series of "Free Credit Report Dot Com" commercials that have spread like a bad case of herpes, more like a case of mutating herpes that keeps reappearing in some different form but is nonetheless terribly painful.

The thing that strikes me about these commercials is how naive and brain-dead they assume the viewer is. They present scenarios that show the 'average dude' as not only unaware of his credit but apparently his entire financial situation.

Here are the lyrics to the latest commercial:

"When you're a rockstar you get to party hard

Champagne and Cavier, tricked out excotic cars,

Its just how I thought I'd be, 'Xcept the party's not for me

Cuase some punk opened a credit card

with my ID"

"Free- What? Free Credit, Report.com

Thats the site I'm gonna hit, When I get home

They know how credit works, they send email alert

Now I'm findin out how bad reality hurts"

I'd like to point out a few errors in his slightly robotic 'rap'. First of all he leads us to believe that the only reason he isn't hanging out at the parties amongst the boobies and champagne is because his ID was stolen. If he had been a rockstar, or wealthy at all, and then had his ID stolen this theory might hold some water. However, as you can see he is working at the party so I am guessing he isn't famous or wealthy in any way. So how come he thought that he would get to party like a rockstar? And are they saying that all young people entering the 'real world' hold this same assumption? The only thing that is true about this commercial is that I am pretty sure reality really did hurt - only it was the reality that he isn't a rockstar. P.S. You dont need your credit score to tell you that!

Here are the lyrics to the bike commercial

Check it out Gas prices blowin up sky high, Ditched my used subcompact for a two wheeled ride, Now I'm rollin Eco-friendly but i still look bad, When the bike store saw my credit they said, "This was all they had," I'm singin, F to the R to the E to the E, To the C to the R to the E D I T, RE to the PORT to the DOT to the COM, Come on everybody grab your bike and sing along it's easy...

This commercial's focus is more about engraining their URL into your brain than scaring you into checking your credit. But lets take a look at one line before we chuck this commercial back into the crap heap. "When the bike store saw my credit" Ok, I've bought a bike before not a nice one just one to you know, get around. I didn't have to fill out a credit approval I just paid with a card although I am sure cash or check would have worked also. But apprently this guy is trying to buy one of those high-tech lightweight BMW bikes? Does this guy have a job? Does he try to fill out credit approvals to buy groceries? Didn't he just trade in his car? Are you telling me that he didn't get enough for his car for a bike? come on!

Here are the lyrics :

Well they say a man should always dress for the job he wants So why am i dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant Its all because some hacker stole my identity Now I'm in every evening serving chowder and ice tea Shoulda gone to free credit report dot com I coulda seen this comin' at me like an atom bomb They monitor your credit and send you e-mail alerts So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in t shirts

Ok, I will admit this one gets stuck in my head regularly and I must stop myself from mindlessly mumbling it down grocery aisles. But now to examine it!

First of all nothing this guy has done has lead me to believe he would be applying for the kind of job where credit would get you denied. I have had my share of slightly above minimum wage jobs and have never had my credit checked. A good friend of mine has a very good job with not the greatest credit and he got his job without having to work in a crab cake house. I am not an expert on this issue, but lets just say I have known many people with less than perfect credit and I have NEVER known anyone to be denied a job based on credit score. The only time that I have heard of (be it people I actually know) someone almost not getting a job after some sort of ID theft was the case where the person who stole their ID was arrested for a number of fellonies with their ID. In this case, he had the necessary paperwork to show he wasn't the one arrested and he is still in that job position!

This is a Cheap Cheap Scare Tactic! So I am guessing that his lack of education (notice that he never talks about debt or credit from student loans!) or job history has nothing to do with his new occupation - its all the credit's fault! and not only that but only not knowing his credit is to blame!

Second, he chose to work in a crab shack. He could have gotten a job at PetSmart, Walgreens, Costco, UPS, or hell the Mall! So to all of you out there scared that if you buy something online and your ID gets stolen you will lose your job and end up working at Mr. Salty's , don't worry I think you'll be ok.

Third, and the most annoying to me ; You can't see an atom bomb coming!!!

Come on!

Lyrics :

While I was shoppin' for a new car, which one's me? A cool Convertible or an SUV? Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack, Cuz' now I'm drivin' off a lot in a used Subcompact. F-R-E-E that spells free, Credit report dot com baby. Saw their ads on my T.V. Thought about going, but was too lazy. Now instead of lookin' fly n rollin' phat, My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's gettin' laughed at. F-R-E-E that spells free, Credit report dot com baby.

Ok, so this guy wakes up one day and thinks "I'm gonna buy a car!". I am guessing he hasn't thought about what would work best for his situation and saved up for a down-payment. I cannot imagine being so naive as to head down to a car lot , see the fanciest hottest cars and based on their other commercials not having a well paying job, and thinking Yes! That's what I will get! No Problem!!

Also, he blames not knowing his credit for his crappy car buy. FYI Knowing you have bad credit doesn't change it! If he checked his credit would he just have not gone to get a car at all? Because he still wouldn't have walked away with an SUV or convertible.

He even says he thought about going, but was too lazy. This is so cheap. I hate when a commercial insinuates that if you don't use their service or product you are lazy. Once again, it doesn't matter if he was too lazy to check it - apprently he is too lazy to pay his bill.

Once again, stupid commercial!

Lyrics;

Well I married my dream girl. I married my dream girl. But she didnt tell me her credit was bad. so now instead of living in a pleasant suburb. we're living in the basement at her mom and dads. No we cant get a loan for a respectable home. Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card. If we'd gone to free credit report dot com, I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.

Ok, first off if my new husband sang this song he wouldn't even be sleeping in my parents basement!

Here is my biggest pet peeve, this message of this com.mercial is that you should or shouldn't marry someone because of their credit. The last line indicates that had he known she had bad credit he would a)not live with her b)not marry her.

Also, apparently HIS credit is good enough for him to buy a house on his own. So why doesn't he just buy it?!? Come on!!!!!!!!!

I hate this commercial.

Here is the small print :

"When you order your free report here, you will begin your free trial membership in Triple Advantage Credit Monitoring. If you don't cancel your membership within the 7-day trial period**, you will be billed $14.95 for each month that you continue your membership."

What?!? YOU MEAN ITS NOT FREE?!?! What a surprise!!!

Also, FYI your credit lowers every time it gets checked so I don't understand why they encourage you to check your credit daily. Unless of course your goal is to marry a girl whose credit ruins your life, buy a car you hate and then trade it in for a crappy bicycle that you can use to go to your crab shack job followed by cleaning up a rockstar party that you would confuse as YOUR party.

Either the world really is much stupider than I realized or you just no longer have to be truthful in your advertisements.